Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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