He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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