so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
