If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
