getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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