Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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