I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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