I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
