The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
