6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
