She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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