If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
