Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
