I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
