please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She bit a glass in half.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize