the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so let's talk penis.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
