I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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