Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
