Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
