i would punch a child for taco bell
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
