Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
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