fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
