The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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