There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
