I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
