like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
