RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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