the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
