I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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