I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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