so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
