OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
