I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
