Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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