Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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