"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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