That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
