I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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