: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
