my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
