So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
