this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
