Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Randomize