And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
