also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
