bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
