just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
