k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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