You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Porn is love you can see.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
