i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
