Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
